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Being an enabler and walking around on eggshells to try and keep the peace actually makes a situation like yours and mine worse. Takes 2 to tango.
You and I both played our part in the dynamics of our marriage. Divorce him, but don't file for sole custody. First of all, you won't get it only in extreme cases.
Second of all, you'll look like a controlling bitch and lose credit during the mediation process. I filed in San North County. You can get the paperwork for free through Women at qt on 3rd self-help office they provide some free childcare, but not sure what the time limit is anymore.
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Let me give you a couple of links that help you with the process: This is a "Parenting Plan Guidelines" publication issued by the Superior Court of California for the county of Orange.
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This is a post I wrote in response to someone who was wondering about the mediation process.
It's my personal experience mixed with advice my attorney gave me. I got full satisfaction regarding custody, because I asked for something reasonable that preserved the -' relationship with their father.
Be sure to be specific birthdays, holidays, childcare. The more on paper, the better!
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